Body Language in Coaching - How Good Are Your Communication Skills? Part I
Part I
Have you ever given any thought about the effectiveness of your communication skills, verbal and non-verbal, your body language when communicating to athletes, coaching staff, parents, or club administrators? And by the way… how good are your listening skills?
…Body Language is the outward reflection of a person’s emotional condition, defined as gestures, postures, and facial expressions by which a person manifests various physical, mental, or emotional states and communicates non-verbally with others…
…Coaching at its core is an exercise in trust. Athletes depend on coaches for knowledge, guidance, inspiration, and motivation. They rely on coaches to set the parameters by which athletes can strive for their best…
John Dalla Costa on the “value of trust”
(Center for Ethical Orientation, Toronto, Canada)
It is easy to make assumptions when trying to read someone’s body language based on a single movement or gesture or when verbal meanings are unclear. Shaking hands, shrugging, nodding, or shaking one’s head are more apparent behaviors nowadays than in earlier civilizations. Historically, body language is categorized as a form of para-language in which non-verbal communication elements hold and convey meaning during personal interaction. True meaning is more likely to come across in groups or clusters of behaviours. If the person is crossing arms in response to something that is/was said they might be just cold. On the other hand, a person crossing arms and looking away clearly communicates a stronger message of displeasure or disagreement.
People typically exhibit three types of behavior: touch, body position, and body movement. These come in clusters of signals and/or postures; they happen at the same time and convey the person’s feelings very clearly. One has to be aware and sensitive, however, that people from other cultures are likely to use body language in different ways, depending on their social or cultural norms.
Touch or haptic communication (sense of touch)– the more intimate of the three, implying friendship or domination or both. It may be used to get someone’s attention, express sympathy or intimacy. The way we move within a group or stand-alone can convey the way we actually feel about ourselves.
Kinesic communication– the way we stand or sit, gestures we use, and our facial expressions (i.e., interpretation of body language such as facial expressions, gestures or, more formally, non-verbal behavior related to movement, either of any part of the body or the body as a whole). Generally, the more space we take up, the more comfortable and assertive we feel. Facial expressions relay important information regarding our emotions, and/or ability to understand what’s going on around us, whereas gestures add emphasis to the words we say.
Proximal communication– the way we position our body when interacting with others. There are degrees of personal space: Up close or an arm length’s away indicates the trust we have in the other person or knowing the other person well. The direction we angle the body in relation to another: face-to-face or at an angle provides clues as to the level of intimacy or potential confrontation.
Multiple demands by athletes, parents, and club administrators create pressures, which can influence daily coaching behavior unless one has developed specific coping strategies. According to research, 60-80 % of initial opinion is formed in less than four minutes as athletes make judgments whether or not the coach is approachable (interpreted as easy to talk to, friendly, amicable, sociable, open) or unapproachable for that day (perceived as distant, unfriendly, grumpy, aloof, cold, and/or standoffish). Such interpretation is critical for the coach-athlete interaction since the “coach is seen as the true agent of change” in any sport environment.
Coaches are, however, not always aware of the immediate effect of their body language or emotional signals they send out. Yet, they are on display, observed, and studied by athletes before, during, and after training; before competition or an event; during competition or event; after competition or event; during de-briefing or evaluation; during non-training and/or social situations. “See yourself as a book that interested people read – whether or not you want them to”… And one should always remember, “Pictures are worth a thousand words!”
It is said, “the world’s greatest leaders throughout history have been good orators and used great body language to be effective in their delivery.” Similarly, coaches need to display effort, enthusiasm, and passion to motivate their athletes. Statistics imply that up to 50-65% of human communication without body language is lost or at least unreadable. Subconscious gestures with hands, facial expressions, and body language can often communicate more clearly the ‘true’ meaning.
Most of us are a reflection of our parents…they taught us in the past that being emotional is acceptable or …“Men don’t cry”… Males and females employ pretty much the same body language although women might use it more than men. However, cultural norms influence body language based on gender, age, status, and specific culture, which can be misinterpreted or can elicit unexpected responses. Body language speaks volumes as a form of non-verbal communication involving stylized gestures, postures, body poses, eye movements, and physiological signs, which act as cues to others. Humans send and receive non-verbal signals all the time, and interpret such signals subconsciously. Body language and words have to be absolutely in sync because true meaning comes from gestures, not necessarily from words. Someone stated that “words are the spaghetti sauce while spaghetti is the expression of the body.” Therefore, we need to give off images that make people trust us. Most of us may not know or realize the extent of signals we send. This means, the way we say it – not just what we say, is equally important. For example, we move the face, make visible gestures and exhibit subconscious actions like breathing shifts, sighs, huffs, heaves, puffs, gasps, sulking, changes of voice and skin tone. Body language can denote pleasure and displeasure, happiness and sadness, comfort and discomfort, interest and disinterest, frustration, doubt, confusion, and personal needs. On the other hand, when the feelings of the person are revealed the underlying reason of such emotion is not. Interpretation and knowledge of the motive of that feeling is necessary for accurate detection. Microexpressions are facial expressions when people try to repress or suppress emotion. If they are unable to do so completely, emotions may flash onto the face very rapidly sometimes for as short as 1/125th of a second. Microexpressions along with hand gestures and posture send off signals that register almost immediately, like a ‘silent orchestra with a long-lasting repercussion.’ Although many of us use these fleeting expressions, about 85% of people can improve them.
There are some misconceptions about the statistics of non-verbal communication. In the 1970s, Albert Mehrabian established the 7% – 38% – 55% rule to denote the amount of communication conferred by words, tone, and body language. The findings of that particular study reveal that the words we speak only convey about 7% of the overall message sent; 38% is attributed to voice tone or inflection and 55% to body language. His findings, however, have been somewhat generalized to 7% (verbal), 38%, and 55% (total 93%) as a working formula for communication. In fact, these numbers only reflect the results of that particular study; they are more about the importance of visuals and the degree to which we rely on them during communication. Mehrabian was only referring to cases that expressed feelings or attitudes such as a person saying…I do not have a problem with you… whereby the focus is on the tone of voice and body language of the person rather than the actual spoken words. It is therefore a common misconception that these percentages apply to all communication. Disagreement among experts puts the level of non-verbal communication as high as 80% while others propose 60-70%, although it could be around 50-65%, according to some.
Regardless of these differences, “the way something is said” inclusive body language and eye contact is 13 times more important than the information given since body language can undermine the message or information.” In essence, words and gestures can say something totally different whereas body language is more reliable than facial expressions. For example, when the face and body in photographs showed conflicting emotions, participants’ judgment of facial expression was impeded and became biased toward the emotion expressed by the body. The brain possesses a mechanism sensitive to the agreement between facial expression and body language and can evaluate information quickly. On the other hand, various studies show facial communication to be believed 4.3 times more often than verbal meaning. Other findings denote that verbal communication in a flat tone is 4 times more likely to be understood than pure facial expression. Some experts estimate that human communication consists of 93% body language and para-linguistic cues (Para-language refers to the non-verbal elements of communication used to modify meaning and convey emotion; the study of paralanguage is known as para-linguistics). Para-language may be expressed consciously or subconsciously, including voice pitch and volume, in some cases intonation of speech (grammar), and at times the definition is restricted to vocally produced sounds.
Reading’ People’s Body Language
Physical Expression:
Kinesics is known as the study of body movement and expressions.
Physical expressions such as waving, pointing, touching, and slouching are forms of non-verbal communication.
Gestures can emphasize a point or relay a message.
Posture can reveal boredom or great interest,
Touch can convey encouragement or caution.
Mirroring someone’s body language indicates that they are understood.
Posture:
Crossing arms over the chest sends a basic and powerful body signal, erecting an unconscious barrier between oneself and the other (although the person might be cold, usually clarified by rubbing hands or huddling). In a serious confrontational situation when the person leans away from the speaker, it means an expression of opposition.
Looking at the speaker while crossing the arms– indicates the person is bothered but wants to talk.
Posture or extended eye contact, and standing properly while listening– shows interest.
Hand gesture at sides– is interpreted as a drop of energy whereas bringing the hand closer to the chest is understood as signs of energy, excitement and motivation.
Walking up behind a person– is taken as alerting and intimidating, or assuming there is a problem.
High-pitched or shrill voice (common in females), flat or monotonous voice difficult for listener– one should always a) speak clearly and exercise articulation; b) vary the pitch and pace and c) insert correct pauses to ‘catch’ the listener’s interest. Most men in general skirmish to modulate the voice (change the tone, volume, frequency) while women usually need to pay special attention to resonance (quality, volume, and foremost pitch as a lower voice quality has been found to be more effective).
Body Posturing or Posing:
Pacing while talking with repetitive gestures detract– gestures need to be expressive, emphasizing the message or content but need to be neutral.
Harsh or blank facial expression– often denotes outright hostility.
Touching one’s face during conversation– can sometimes denote deceit or an act of withholding information.
Tilting the head to one side or eyes looking straight ahead at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused– indicates boredom. On the other hand, a head tilt may point to a sore neck, or amblyopia (‘lazy eye’), and/or other ocular problems by the listener. So, correct interpretation is essential.
Tilting the head to one side and showing the ear– the person is actually listening. People may start to mirror, causing the other person to tilt the head and listen more.
Tensioning and releasing face and scalp muscles– is evidence of emotional changes as are changes of skin tone and texture.
Signals of the Eyes:
It is crucial to interpret eye contact. Eyes are said to be the windows to the soul. Learning to read and interpret eye movement is crucial. They are powerful tools, very expressive, send many cues and signals, and detect tiny changes in the body language of others.
Consistent eye contact– indicates the person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to take his/her eyes off the speaker.
Direct eye contact but ‘fiddling’ with something– points toward interest or the fact that attention is somewhere else.
Lack of eye contact– can mean negativity. However, people with anxiety disorders are often unable to make eye contact without some personal discomfort. Also, cultural difference may demand ‘lowering of the eyes’ due to respect or humility or subservience.
Looking up to the left– indicates visual thinking and forming mental pictures.
Lowering the eyes– indicates modesty or submission. This may relate more to a sign of respect for others or could convey a feeling of inferiority.
Narrowing the eyes deliberately– conveys anguish and distaste. One has to be very aware of this as it may also be directed toward the person, who is the cause or source of that displayed feeling.
Attention invariable wanders and the eyes stare away for an extended period– denotes person is not convinced by someone’s words.
Unfocused eyes– person’s ‘mind is wandering; they are not paying attention; it may be a sign of boredom. Literally, they are not focused.
Averted gaze, touching the ear, or scratching the skin– shows disbelief.
Glistening eyes– signal strong emotion of either distress, short of crying, or excitement such as passion and triumph.
Glaring eyes– used to intimidate and can illicit hostile reactions or responses.
Frequent blinking during conversation– denotes high interest. Some use it to seek attention.
Excessive blinking– well-known display of someone lying. However, recent evidence shows that absence of blinking could also be a more reliable factor for lying than excessive blinking.
A wink with the closed eye directed at the person– implies ‘shared’ secret.
Eye angle changes (even at a distance)– shows that attention is diverted away onto something. The precision timing of eye contact indicates interest, disinterest, or intimidation.
Eye pupil size changes– signals fluctuating emotions as interests peaks and/or wanes
‘Three States’ of Looking:
These represent the different states of being:
Looking from one eye to the other, and then to the forehead is a sign of taking an authoritative position.
Moving from one eye to the other, and then to the nose signals that person is engaging in ‘level’ conversation – with neither party holding superiority.
Looking from one eye to the other, and then to the lips indicates a strong romantic feeling or flirting stage.
Considerations:
People with certain disabilities or those with autism use and understand body language differently or not at all. Interpreting their gestures and facial expressions (or lack thereof) in the context of normal body language usually leads to misinterpretations and misunderstandings (especially, if body language is given priority over spoken language).
Signs and body signals tend to vary by cultural era, gender, and among people from various ethnic and racial groups, who might interpret body language in different ways.
Examples of Gestures and Interpretations:
Hands on knees = Readiness
Hands on hips = Impatience
Locking hands behind the back = Self-control
Locked hands behind the head = Self-confidence
Sitting, leg over chair, legs folded = Indifference
Legs point in a particular direction = Into direction of interest
Crossed arms = Submissiveness or defensiveness
Body Language and Space:
Interpersonal space refers to the imaginary ‘psychological bubble’ when someone is standing way too close (people in an elevator!). Research reveals “four different zones of interpersonal space” in North America:
Intimate distance– ranges from touching to about 18” apart; it is the space around us that we reserve for close and intimate members.
Personal distance– begins about an arm length away, starting around 18” proximity and ending about 4’ away; it is used in conversation with friends and to chat with others during group discussion.
Social distance– ranges from 4-8 feet away; it applies to strangers, newly formed groups and new acquaintances.
Public distance– includes anything more that 8’ away; it is used for speeches, lectures, and theater; essentially, it is reserved for larger audiences.
Unintentional Gestures and Body Cues:
Recently, new interest has centered on ‘unintentional cues’ such as:
Rubbing the eyes
Resting the chin
Touching the lips
Nose etching
Head scratching
Finger locking
Narrowing the eyes, ‘bulges’ in the cheeks and nose– is interpreted as a “sign of pain” (2010 research on facial recognition on mice to study human reaction of pain and subsequent expression). This is important to determine if an athlete is hurting, in pain, or using ‘discomfort’ as an excuse.
Sexual Interest and Body Language:
It is important for any coach interaction, especially with females, mixed gender, youth, and growing adolescent to understand signals that may indicate special personal or sexual interest on part of the athlete. Our role is to be aware, sensitive, and in control to avoid potential misleading or misinterpretations, which in some instances lead to allegations and potential loss of the occupation!
‘Special Interest’ Indicators:
Exaggerated gestures and body movements
Echoing and mirroring the speaker
Room encompassing glances
Leg crossing
Pointing the knee at the speaker
Hair tossing or touching
Head tilting
Pelvic rotation
Showing wrists
Playing with ear rings wristbands, or other jewellery
Adjusting clothes
Laughing, giggling, and smiling for no reason
Eye contact
Touching the speaker
Playfulness
Seeking close proximity
Since verbal communication accounts between 7-10% of the overall means to convey a message one can never determine the truthfulness or sincerity of people by their words alone (Haynes, 2009). In fact, words transmitted verbally often do not reflect peoples’ thoughts or feelings. We need to ‘See through’ the emotions to determine:
The person’s interest
The person’s boredom
Signals of excitement – frustration or dismay – anger – nervousness – tension – reassurance
Signals of authority or power
What a person is thinking
Ways a person acts to convey pride
Whether a person is more open to agree
What actions to take so someone trusts you
Ways to build rapport
Ways to open conversations
Ways action-oriented people act or move
Ways confident people act or move
Ways to read and counteract potential objections
Ways to make lasting impressions
If the person is keeping a secret
If another person is suspicious
Ways to detect a liar
References
Coaching Association of Canada (2008). Canadian National Coaching Certification Program (NCCP). Coaching and leading effectively. Version 1.3. Reference material (pp.14-17). Ottawa, ON, CAN: Coaching Association of Canada.
Covey, S. R. (1998). The 7 habits of highly effective people training manual. Version 2.0. Salt Lake City, UT: Franklin Covey.
Covey, S. R. (2005). The 7 habits of highly effective people. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Kouzes, J. M., & Posner, B. Z. (2007). The leadership challenge (4th ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Imprint of John Wiley & Sons.
McCarthy, S. (2013) Body Language. Retrieved August 17, 2021, from https://www.wikiwand.
com/simple/Body_language
Mehrabian's, A. (2020). Mehrabian's communication theory: Verbal, non-verbal, body language. Retrieved august 17, 2021, from https://www.businessballs.com/communication-skills/ mehrabians-communication-theory-verbal-non-verbal-body-language. Updated September 3, 2020.