Tip of the Month - June
Coach Monika says…
Praise and Your Child’s Performance
The following article was adapted and modified from John O’Sullivan/September 24, 2013A parent’s motivation for praising their child has its roots in a desire to see their child succeed; however, parents may use praise in ways that actually interfere with solid performances. Here are some ‘pitfalls’ to avoid as the ‘eager’ parent:
BE CLEAR AND CONCISE IN YOUR PRAISE: We have to constantly remind ourselves to do. Instead of “you are playing really well” focus on their effort and application as the cause of their good results.
AVOID OVER-PRAISING KIDS: Try not to over-praise your child. We have all met the ‘over-praiser” - the parents who acts as if every stick figure is a Picasso and every recital performance was Oscar worthy. These parents are afraid that their child’s self-esteem will suffer if they are not encouraged and praised for every outcome. However, this is not true.
AVOID PRAISING BY COMPARISON: Avoid praising your child by comparing him/her to others. Many parents try to make their own kid feel better by tearing down other athletes. This not only can cause a fixed mindset, but it is very destructive of team dynamics.
AVOID SARCASTIC PRAISE: Coaches often use sarcastic feedback trying to improve skills. This is hurtful, especially when occurring in front of other athletes.
Guidelines:
Focusing on the effort instead of the outcome keeps us present with our children in their struggle.
Praising effort prevents us from being so focused on the prize that we forget to give credence to what got our athlete there.
It should make us a partner in the process and allows our athletes to give their attention to the journey and not the destination.
It also should allow us to recognize everything our young athletes are accomplishing along that journey.
High performers are all about the process, and the process is all about effort.